The fish finger breakfast sandwich is not only a miracle of nutritional engineering, it is a meal in itself. It is more satisfying than a bacon sandwich and surprisingly the flavours combine to make it superior to almost every other sandwich bar a double whopper with cheese.

It includes all the major food groups (so long as you are happy to ignore the fact that it doesn't contain all of the major food groups), and it can improve brain function*. More importantly it can cure almost all common ailments* and actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex, but only if the members of the opposite sex are attracted to fish breath. Did I mention that it is also suitable for vegetarians? Vegans need not bother reading any further.

The ingredients are specific otherwise you will lose the effect of the flavour combination.

4 x proper Cod fish fingers, not those naff fish fillet jobbies
2 x slices of soft, white, freshly made farmhouse bread
2 x large dollops of chunky tartar sauce, Asda extra special is one of the best
1 x egg
1 x enough cheese to cover 1 x slice of bread
3 x dobs of butter
3 x tablespoons of olive oil


Place the olive oil and 1 x dob of butter into a frying pan and bring to heat. The reason for the butter/oil mix is that it will give a crispier coat to the fish fingers. Place the fish fingers into the pan and turn the heat down to almost low so that they are gently spitting. It takes about 15 minute to properly cook fish fingers, turn them over every five minutes.

While the fish fingers are cooking you can prepare the rest of the sandwich. Butter each slice of bread with its own dob of butter, then spread both slices with a decent coating of tartar sauce.

Now fry up the egg.

Position the cheese on one slice of bread and then add the fried egg. Now wait for the fish fingers to finish cooking.

Once cooked, add the fish fingers to the slice of bread which has the cheese and egg on it and then place the other slice of bread, tartar side down, on the fish fingers. Cut the sandwich in half and garnish with a sprig of parsley. Now enjoy the taste sensation that is the perfect fish finger breakfast sandwich.

Not fancy or tangy enough for you?

If you are feeling that your sandwich still requires a little something then I do have a recent upgrade that I have layered onto my recipe - a layer of sliced gherkins between the eggs and the fish fingers. So there you have it, the perfect fish finger breakfast sandwich.

* research has shown that the fish finger breakfast sandwich can not do these things, and is a misrepresentation of the facts. In fact, all facts and opinions presented in this article may be a bit wobbly.

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