Since my last desktop dramatically shifted its ‘mortal electric coil’ - due to an expensive and agonising viral attack, I decided that its replacement would never be used for downloading or for the kids to play online games. Nevertheless, yesterday my new (now only newish) laptop refused to go past the welcome screen however many times I turned the flipping thing on and off. It would turn off fine; it would turn on fine, and would also tell me if I tried to put in the wrong password. However, when the correct password went in it would go no further than the welcome screen and display a constantly turning buffer icon. Twenty minute later and the icon continued to buffer.

I started it in various safe modes, as well as restarting it before placing in the password once again. Again the same problem.

However, I contacted my hardware provider by phone and they believed that it was a simple problem, probably caused by one of the many windows updates.

They advised me to turn of the computer. Then, once I have turned it on again, repeatably press the function F8 button. This made a difference as it took me to a different and more complex ‘black and white’ safe-mode screen. The options I was given by the nice lady on the phone was a return to factory settings which would lose everything on the hard drive, a system restore, or a standard start up in safe mode.

We started, for the hundredth time, and no belief that it would work this time either, with the standard start up option, and ‘OH MY GOD’ it worked immediately. I asked the lady on the phone to marry me and then carried on inflicting the world with my boring articles.

The moral of this story is to check your receipt and see if your computer hardware provider has a free advisory service – and then use it.

All images of my traipsing up to the shop I bought it from and throwing the useless pies of junk on their customer service desk have all but gone.

I hope this helps. If it does, leave a lovely comment.

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